I want happiness!

We have come to equate ego as self-esteem or self-importance.  If someone is said to have a big ego, they are believed to think higher of themselves than they really deserve.  But the Freudian concept of ego really is the concept of self.  We all actually have a very strong ego, we may like who we are or we may not, but we all are strongly in touch with our sense of self.  That sense of self however often is what gets in the way of our happiness. 

 Our sense of self is created as we move through the world and get feedback about our actions and the things that happen to us.  We create a concept of what we can and can’t do, our own personal value, and the value of the things around us.  Then within that concept we work to navigate our world.  It is also a great deal of what allows us to decide of we are happy or not.  We create definitions of what we want within what we find important and what makes us happy. 

 This is when things get tricky.  When the things we find important or the things we believe make us happy are not present we often struggle.  We then start looking to find happiness, chasing and chasing to find something that our ego, our experiences and our beliefs get in the way of us finding. 

Happiness is all around us.  There are things that will cause pain and difficulties, and yet even then happiness is still all around us.  The sense of I gets in the way of finding what we want.  I am in pain. I am struggling.  I can’t do what I want, or believe I should be able to do.  The I, the ego, can be a huge distraction from happiness. 

 Our ego makes a lot of decisions in our lives.  Can you see where it gets in the way of your happiness?  Do people tell you that you are beautiful, and you can’t believe them?  Do you try your best, do better than you’ve ever done, and it still isn’t good enough?   “There is no good or bad, our thinking makes it so”  Shakespeare.    Where can I get my ego out of my way for even a little bit of happiness?happiness-comic

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About Marissa Engel

I have been in private practice in Austin, TX since 2007. My focus as a therapist is to help clients uncover within themselves the courage and strength to face life with confidence. In my work with clients I am most interested in helping people develop a compassionate relationship with their own experiences that can lead them on a journey of acceptance, self discovery, relief from suffering, and healing of relational disconnects. In my practice I have worked with individuals, couples, families, and groups, seeing adults, adolescents, and children. My scope of treatment has included depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and stress management difficulties, suicidal ideation, grief and loss, addictions, eating disorders, and couple/family difficulties.