Finding Gratitude during this Thanksgiving

Every day I run in to pet-peeves.  Just driving to work I hit triggers and frustrations, and my drive is only 2 miles.  As I move through my day I hear triggers from others, I hear frustrations and I hear difficulties.  Then comes the drive home on the same roads with many of the same people that hit the pet-peeve triggers to begin with.  Then I listen to the news and hear of the refugees flooding in to Europe that are being turned away, some of them dying in their attempts.  I hear of the cops killing people, and the people killing cops.  I see all of the hate, anger and suffering in the world.  It is easy to get lost in all of that.

It is easy to get lost in the hurt and the anger and the suffering of the day and of the world.  It is easy to lose sight of the other side of the coin.  Every day I see people find the best of themselves, taking strides forward.  I see watch other drivers show kindness to each other. I watch couples talk to each other with kindness, and strangers tell each other jokes at the bus stop.  Every day my partner gives me a reminder of his kindnesses.  If I look for it, every day I can find some kind of beauty.

It is easy to see the frustrations, the hurts and suffering of the world.  It takes intention to see the beautiful, the things to be grateful for.  Each day there are beautiful things to see and be aware of. These are moments of gratitude.   The moment your cat reaches over with her paw to draw your hand in to a pet. The moment you see other people fighting and recognize how safe your relationship is.  The moment you look up and see the sunset setting the sky on fire and see the beauty.  The moment you recognize the things that are beautiful, you remember that the world isn’t just suffering.  The world is also beauty.

Some days the moments of gratitude are easy to find.  Some days you see the little beauties of the world and they fall like leaves from a tree.  Some days it is harder.  The days you find out your best friends dad died and you watch her cry her heart out, or your partner spits up with you.  The days when just the act of existing brings up all the suffering of the world.  These are the most important days of all to find the moments of gratitude.

The next step is to share our moments.   There are many ways we can share our moments of gratitude, especially in today’s digital age.  First, if you have a family make it a part of your family to share, preferably on a daily basis those moments.  At dinner, at bedtime, or in your own ritual.  This keeps your family or partnership connected and helps through the difficult times.  If you are currently single, share with your friends, on your Facebook or instagram or even Whisper page.  We are so quick to share our suffering.  “A thousand candles can be lighted from the flame of one candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.  Happiness can be spread without diminishing that of yourself”.  Mahatma Ghandi

Gratitude reminds us that there are blessings in the world, that there are silver linings on the cloud.  Making a daily practice of gratitude keeps a reserve of sunshine when the clouds seem to be taking over.  These practices can help us when we’re alone and single to remember that we aren’t fully alone.  These practices can help us connect with our families at the dinner table, when each day everyone has to give their one thing, the one beauty they saw in the day.  Every day take a moment and fine at least one thing you can be grateful for in your day.  Find a way to share it, either with your friends or family or on Facebook.  We share our frustrations all the time, switch the script.

This entry was posted in Buddhism, Emotional Health on by .

About Marissa Engel

I have been in private practice in Austin, TX since 2007. My focus as a therapist is to help clients uncover within themselves the courage and strength to face life with confidence. In my work with clients I am most interested in helping people develop a compassionate relationship with their own experiences that can lead them on a journey of acceptance, self discovery, relief from suffering, and healing of relational disconnects. In my practice I have worked with individuals, couples, families, and groups, seeing adults, adolescents, and children. My scope of treatment has included depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger and stress management difficulties, suicidal ideation, grief and loss, addictions, eating disorders, and couple/family difficulties.

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